|
Life doesn’t stop at sixty
Ranjita Biswas
The passengers in the small bus were all silver-haired, and all of them - women. The bus is a facility the house committee of the condo where I stayed in Mclean, a suburb in Washington D C, provides so that people can commute to the malls, shopping centres, grocery stores or visit a doctor’s chamber in the vicinity without having to depend on a car. The bus leaves every hour from the housing estate and goes on a circuitous route touching all these points and checking the time, one can return in the same bus after finishing the chores.
 |
|
| |
It was an eye opener for me how even senior citizens on their own can manage their necessities without hassle. However, my first reaction on seeing these women, obviously living on their own — or perhaps with older husbands, many with walking sticks, their arthritic limbs obviously refusing to move fast, carrying all those packets, was a sense of pity. On seeing one such lady struggling with her shopping bags while trying to open the door, I ran to help her. She seemed startled at this unexpected assistance and said gratefully, “Thank you! You are a good lady!”
Perhaps I was feeling a bit condescending, that these women in their winter years had to manage everything on their own. After all in India we take care of the old and the infirm. Come again! I corrected myself. Don’t we often read these days about old parents driven out of their house, or starving with too little food being served, or a father going to court against a son to retrieve his own house which he once gave him citing filial duty?
Otherwise why the Supreme Court in our country today has had to pass a bill compelling wards to look after their old and infirm parents?
It’s a matter of perception perhaps, or even ignorance, that we sit cocooned in a bubble citing traditional values. Society changes with time and attitude too changes. We no longer can pass remarks like, “They are (meaning the western society) like that but we are different.” There are too many examples to negate that. Rather on hindsight, I found it endearing that all these old ladies were impeccably turned out, matching their earrings and lipstick, never mind the wrinkles, as if to declare ‘ there’s life to us yet.’ They seemed to look forward to this outing, even if just to buy small things. Their talk was also about people they knew, who was sick, who was divorced, who had a heart attack, and of course, what medicines were good for what ailment. Not much different from the kind of discussions our elderly ladies indulge in too. But there’s a difference too. In any museum or theatre over there you will find elderly persons in great numbers, going around admiring the exhibits, often in wheel chairs helped by a daughter or a son. Think about the average elderly woman in your community: other than going to a neighbouring temple or visiting relatives occasionally, there doesn’t seem to be any life for them other than looking after the kitchen or the grandchildren while the wards are at work. Despite the chores they have to do and look after themselves, these American women seemed to have a good time, going out, meeting friends on the way to getting the groceries. Most importantly, to me at least, it was a lesson on how they have learnt to cope with their situation if they were in their seventies and eighties without expecting others to treat them as a burden.
But then again, others back home would think: What kind of life! How miserable to be left alone like this! Perhaps there are two sides of the same coin and it’s difficult to judge which is correct or preferable. But is there anything in the human situation that can be pronounced ‘correct’? |
