We cannot generalise a society or a country: Author Hamid Ansari on Pakistan

What made you decide to write your story in a book?

Actually when I was behind bars, to be precise in solitary confinement, facing torture and hatred, the only mode of communication was by writing on bathroom walls. So I thought this mode is one through which I can communicate to everyone. Throughout the six years (of my jail term), the things that I have faced, it changed my perception also. I met both good and negative people so I wanted everyone to know there are both good and bad things but it depends on how we look at them. When I was in prison, Rakhshanda madam (Rakhshanda Naz, Pakistani journalist) used to inspire me to write about my experiences.

Hamid Ansari

Give us a brief summary of how you landed up in Pakistan, get arrested and end up accused of being a spy!

It had started with an online platform which no longer exists. So using the platform, I found a girl and came to know each other. I had developed a soft corner for her. On one fine day, she had urged me to save her life as she had claimed she was going to commit suicide. Then she had suddenly disappeared and that's when I had started searching for her on Facebook. Then I came to know about her from a journalist that the girl was made a scapegoat for the murder her brother had committed. The journalist had assured me of all help to reach there and when I stepped into Pakistan, he had backstabbed me by calling the agencies, which caught me accusing me of being an Indian spy.

Nidhi Razdan

How did you get hope on each day in prison?

Initially I was losing hope because I was told that the minimum punishment was 35 years which can also extend to death penalty. I was completely helpless. I didn't get any support or even a consular access. I couldn't contact the embassy. There was no help. Though I felt I was doomed, few people in the investigating team had updated me that my case was going in favour of me. So at one point, I thought maybe the truth will come out and I will get justice someday. So that was the only hope I had. When I was shifted to a civil prison, I could contact Rakshanda madam and the lawyers. So all these things had started adding as a hope. These small hopes started motivating me.

(Clockwise) Hamid Ansari, Geeta Mohan, Nidhi Razdan, Rajdeep Sardesai

Were you able to write down your thoughts?

In solitary confinement, I had no access to pen and paper. Once I was shifted to civil prison, I had access to pen and paper. Then I started writing down my thoughts.

How are you doing now? It was definitely not easy to get back to your feet.

Once I came back, people had an impression that anyone who was behind the bars is a criminal. No one wanted to know the reality behind the incident. People do not accept me for the capabilities I have. I was told in Pakistan during interrogation that my nationality was the only crime. So I am facing difficulty in standing on my feet and getting stabilised.

And what are your feelings about the people of Pakistan now? 

While some people during the interrogation in Pakistan were only asking me about my alleged mission considering me as a spy, there were others who had morally boosted me. In the civil prison, I was attacked by some people and was also protected by others. People in Pakistan are also good and chanted "India Zindabad" and also expressed their admiration towards Sachin Tendulkar, Virat Kohli (Indian cricketers) and others. The way they look at us is completely different from what we think. Good and bad are there in every individual, so we cannot generalise a society or a country.